


J'ai Oublié

by WildwingSuz



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:10:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3730138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildwingSuz/pseuds/WildwingSuz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Rêveur.  Reading that first will help this one make sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	J'ai Oublié

**Author's Note:**

> More smut. Is that a problem? I didn’t think so.  
> The title means 
> 
> Spoilers: None.

J'ai Oublié  
Rated NC-17  
By Suzanne L. Feld

 

Oh, God. I can’t believe I did that. Or didn’t do that, as the case may be. Either way, I’m totally baffled as to how to say it now although I really, truly want him to know.

The plane ride is relatively smooth now that we’ve reached altitude, and Mulder’s face-first in his paperback while I’m staring out the window. I almost—almost—wish for turbulence to take my mind off of this, because I’m starting to obsess on it.

I realized it as I was getting dressed this morning, when I’d gone back to my room after one final quickie in the shower. God, when we finally had sex we were insatiable… Heaven only knows how many times we’d have done it if we’d had more than just a few hours. I wish I’d been able to jump him when we’d had more time and preferably in my apartment, but I had seen the right moment and didn’t hesitate to grab it. Mulder’s clear uncertainly earlier about how I felt about him was heartbreaking, but I couldn’t bring myself to just blurt it out. So instead I showed him, as I had wanted to do for a long time.

Once he got it through his thick skull that I honest-to-God wanted him he didn’t vacillate, and turned out to be the amazing lover I had suspected that he would be. Now I wished we hadn’t taken quite so much time with preliminaries, but as fast as he went off the first time I went down on him, I thought, perhaps it had been for the best. But Jesus, he had the most gorgeous cock I had ever seen, long but not too thick and hard as the proverbial rock beneath its sheath of tenderly soft skin. I’ve never been infatuated with a penis before but I was quickly finding myself becoming so with his. Even before I had it inside me I was enamored with it, mostly because it was attached to Mulder but also because I knew the pleasure that it was going to give me. And did it! 

“Thinking about something good, Scully?” His voice was low, rasping, and enough to turn me on without so much as a look or touch. 

“Why do you say that?” I said, turning my head but not looking at him, struggling to contain my expression.

“A moment ago you were wearing the sexiest little smile I have ever seen in my life.”

No way would I tell him I was thinking about how fast he’d come from my attentions, though I couldn’t resist admitting to the rest to see what his reaction would be. “I was thinking about our first, ah, encounter this morning,” I said, slanting a glance over at him from beneath my lashes. He had closed his book on one finger, marking the page where he’d stopped reading, and held it with both hands in his lap. “Perhaps it’s something we can… repeat in the near future. Like when we drop my bags off at my apartment.”

He was staring longingly at me like our old friend Eugene Tooms at a fresh liver, making no effort to hide his expression like I now was. “Scully…”

I shivered from the raw, aroused tone of his voice as well as the look in his eyes and had to glance away again. “It’s only another hour until we land,” I said, equally low, staring at my denim-covered knees as I crossed my arms beneath my breasts to stop myself from touching him. Once I started I wasn’t going to stop no matter where we were. 

“Forever and a day in my timeline.” He leaned over towards me, bathing me in the delicious scent of his aftershave, mouthwash, and pure Mulderessence, but didn’t touch me. “Were you really sitting here thinking about having given me a blow job?”

I felt my face warm and mentally cursed both my Irish heritage and Catholic upbringing as his warm breath brushed my neck and I shivered uncontrollably again. I knew no one could hear us, but even so I glanced around before replying. “Yes, yes I was,” I murmured, flicking another glance at him before settling my eyes on his lightly cleft, perfectly shaved chin. “I hadn’t yet moved on to the morning’s other extracurricular activities, but I was heading that way.”

I saw the muscle in his lean jaw flex, as it normally did when he was angry or perplexed or thinking deeply, but I knew that none of those were his present emotions. I glanced down but was unable to see his crotch beyond the partially buttoned suit jacket and book, which was probably deliberate on his part. He had worn one of his suit jackets over his jeans and plain white t-shirt, claiming he didn’t have room to pack it—but it also hid his crotch quite thoroughly. I did note that the book was nearly bent in half by his white-knuckled grip. “I was trying to keep my mind off of that before we got in, otherwise I’m going to burst a seam in these pants,” he said, again carefully low. 

I was bantering with him to keep my mind off the other dilemma, I knew, but uncharacteristically ignored what was bothering me. I’m normally one to confront a problem head-on; I’d cut through the Gordian knot rather than try to untie it, but this time I was chickening out. What if he didn’t feel the same way? He clearly enjoyed the sex but he hadn’t said it now, either, had he? 

But he had said it to me once before, though I hadn’t taken him seriously at the time. I wasn’t sure that counted, anyway.

He must have taken my silence as the cue that our conversation was over, as he leaned back into his seat and once again opened the book. But as I turned to look out the window again at the fluffy, snowy field of clouds below us he added in a low, husky voice, “I can’t wait to taste you again.”

I couldn’t hide the shudder that went through me as I felt a surge of dampness in my crotch and my nipples tightened, though I kept my face turned away from him. I realized that I had distracted myself a little too well, and wondered if we’d even make it to work this afternoon.

***

Unfortunately, we did. Kersch called my cell during the ride from the airport, demanding our presence at the office ASAP even though I warned him that we weren’t in office clothes. 

“And why are you not in proper attire when on the FBI’s time in the middle of the day?” He yelled across the desk at us almost as soon as we were seated. “You’ve both been agents long enough to know the regs. Well? I can’t wait to hear this!”

“My car’s in the shop,” Mulder lied smoothly, without a beat. He looked like a bohemian college professor in his boots, jeans, t-shirt, and suit jacket; his glasses would have been a crowning touch. “Agent Scully was going to take me to pick it up and I didn’t want either of us to get our good clothes dirty.”

Kersh hadn’t quite caught on to Mulder’s subtle yet cutting sarcasm, not like Skinner had. “Nice try, Agent Mulder. I’m not buying it. Luckily, I need you both for another assignment that no one else is available for; don’t bother to go home or unpack your bags. You can pick up the file and your tickets from Mira on the way out and I expect a report before I leave this office at six sharp this evening.”

What had I done lately to annoy God? I wondered with an almost hopeless air. I had been going to church every Sunday I was in town, and some that I wasn’t if I could find a Catholic church. Was premarital sex that big of a deal? If so, I should have been punished much sooner and left alone today to enjoy an afternoon of wild lovemaking with my partner.

We yes-sir’d the annoying bastard like the good little agents we were supposed to be and got out of there, heading back down to the parking garage without even a stop at our office and getting right back into his car. “Why is your deity pissing in my cornflakes today?” Mulder grumbled as we left the building and headed back to Dulles. Our flight to Indiana was in 45 minutes, which was barely enough time to make it to the airport, never mind check our bags and reach the gate. 

“I was pretty much wondering the same thing,” I said dispiritedly. “And you’ll note it didn’t occur to Kersh that our bags are full of dirty, not clean, clothes.”

“Of course, we’re bitching because we can’t jump each other right this minute but there’s always tonight,” Mulder said, clearly perking up as he glanced over at me. “Let’s play the good little agents for now and we’ll be bad little agents later, how’s that catch you?”

I grinned back at him, tickled by how closely our thoughts were following each other. “That catches me just fine,” I assured him, relaxing back into the seat. “It’s a date.”

I almost blurted out what I wanted to say at his smiling face, but chickened out yet again. Perhaps I could manage to say it in the heat of passion, I thought almost desperately; but one way or another I had to tell him before I went absolutely insane with worrying about it.

***

“Damn but we’re good at this,” Mulder said lazily, sweeping a hand down my damp, bare body from sternum to pubic bone and resting it on my lower belly. He was lying on his side next to me, a few inches away, an arm propping his head up so we could see each other. “Who needs running or aerobics when you can work out like this?”

I had to chuckle in agreement, sprawled on my back with one arm under his neck and the other flung above my head. “And to think, we’ll only get better with practice.”

“Practice makes perfect,” he agreed, fingers snaking down over my curls and I spread my legs in anticipation. God, was I going to be sore tomorrow but for now I was as insatiable as he, both of us unable to stop touching the other. We’d already been in this bed in a cheap Terre Haute motel for nearly two hours and showed no signs of stopping; work was totally forgotten. My upper thigh brushed against his groin, feeling his heavy cock twitching already though we’d just finished the most recent bout less than half an hour ago. “And I plan to practice with you a lot, Scully, so if you have any other plans in the near future I suggest you clear your dance card.”

“My only plans are with you,” I reassured him, and then sighed with satisfaction as his gentle but firm fingers began to explore my labia. “You know just how to touch me, Mulder. Must be our unspoken communic—aaaaaahhhhhh.”

He rubbed one finger up and down over my vagina and clit, curling it just slightly inside me before moving back the other way and spreading the moisture up to the small bump. I arched my back and spread my legs even further, rubbing my upper thigh against his hardening cock. The arm around his neck I curled around his shoulders to bring his face to mine, giving him a long, deep kiss with lips and tongue that, I hoped, help tell him how I felt about him even if I couldn’t speak the words. 

“God, Scully, gotta have you again,” he gasped against my mouth as we broke the kiss for breath. “You make me absolutely fucking crazy; I’ve never been like this with a woman before. I really can’t get enough of you.”

I was already urging him up on top of me with hands and legs. “Me too, Mulder,” I breathed, tugging him into position as he climbed over me. Though I’d never been much for missionary before because I normally wasn’t able to finish like that, he turned it into a whole new experience and had yet to not make me come that way. “You are, without a doubt, the most incredible and unique lover I’ve ever had. No one’s ever satisfied me like you, and I’ve never wanted a man like I want you right now.” 

I was making it a point to repeatedly assure him how much I wanted him; knowing Mulder like I did, I suspected that if I didn’t reassure him constantly he’d begin to doubt my feelings towards him. Not because of me, but because of his own doubt that he could be loved so unconditionally.

He paused, poised right at my entrance. His face was suffused with passion and love, his eyes clearly showing me what he was feeling for me. Once again I hoped my gaze showed the same in return because I simply couldn’t seem to get those words out no matter how much I wanted to. They’ve never been easy for me to say and especially now, with so much riding on them. “Scully, you are my lifemate, my soulmate, my other half,” he rasped as he pushed deliciously into me, slow but steady; I could feel the soreness from the past hours of lovemaking but my arousal was even stronger. “There are no words for me to express how I feel about you, how deeply you are a part of me.”

This was it, this was the time, I could—should—say it, I realized with a jolt as his face neared mine as he leaned down to kiss me. There was such a huge lump in my throat that I wasn’t sure I could speak but without letting myself think any further, I finally blurted, “I love you, Mulder,” as he bottomed out, balls pressing against my perineum and his long, substantial cock filling me perfectly.

He froze and my heart sank as I closed my eyes in embarrassment. For all his pretty words that couldn’t have been what he meant; had I just fucked this all up with my emotionalism? One thing most people did not know about me is that inside the ice queen façade I’m a quivering bundle of emotions, always have been but learned young to hide them well. Now that I had let them loose, it looked like I had screwed it all up. I should have left it alone with the reassurances, and not—

Then his hand gently caressed the side of my face and I opened my eyes and looked up into his, only inches from mine, with trepidation. “Oh, God, Scully,” he choked out, and I felt a wet droplet splash on my face. Sweat or tears I didn’t know, didn’t care; his tone told me all I needed to know. “I was afraid to tell you I loved you again, I wasn’t sure you’d believe me any more this time than you did the last. Now I’m gonna show you what you do to me like I’ve been dying to for years.”

His mouth crushed down on mine before I could say anything else and he began to move on me. Normally he started out slow and deliciously deliberate, but this time he was already slamming into me like a madman. I cried out into his mouth as his tongue plundered mine, holding onto his rock-hard biceps and bracing my feet flat on the bed against his powerful assault on my body. I had never in my life had sex like this before and it was both wildly exciting and just a little intimidating to know how out of control he was. This wasn’t the sweet, devoted, considerate lovemaking we’d shared the past few times; this was raw, hard, uncontrolled fucking. It was the opposite of our words, yet it fit the moment perfectly. Besides, when had we ever been conventional?

I loved it, God how I loved it, to know I did that to him.

He rose up a little and looked down at me, slowing briefly, and I read the concern in his open hazel eyes. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I breathed, bucking my hips against his so our flesh slapped together lightly, unlike the heavy wet thuds from a few moments before. Normally it took a little while for me to get going like this, but now I felt myself flying towards the peak as he began to slam into me fast and furious again. I couldn’t believe how quick he was moving, his hips almost a blur, how hard his body slammed into mine and yet it didn’t hurt, was nothing but pure unadulterated bliss which, with every thrust deep into me, propelled me closer and closer to orgasm in a way I’d never felt before. 

Even though I felt it building, it hit me unawares and I shrieked, “oh, fuck, Mulder!” startled and shattering into nothing more than unthinking nerves capable of only feeling the pleasure he gave me. Orgasming with his substantial cock inside me was beyond anything I’d ever felt before and this time, with the way he was pounding into me, took me to a excess of sensation I’d never even imagined existed before. It felt like I came forever, my fingers digging into his biceps and body bucking against his as I wailed out my pleasure. 

“Yeah, Scully, yeah, Scully,” he chanted huskily as I came down, and I felt his strokes grow erratic and even rougher, which drove me even more wild despite the aftershocks of the intense orgasm still quivering through me. “Love you, Scully, ah, Jesus, love—oh, SCUL-LEEE!”

Mulder cried out my name loud enough to be heard on the next block but neither of us cared as he suddenly stopped the wild thrusting and bucked against me with short, hard, jerky strokes. He stared down at me with wild eyes and clenched jaw as he came, letting me see what it did to him, both of us exchanging our feelings from deep inside during our most vulnerable moments without need of words. 

He let himself down on his elbows with trembling arms, keeping his chest off of mine so we could both gasp for breath unobstructed. “Say it again,” he gasped, panting, lowering his forehead to my clavicle.

I knew what he wanted, and was happy to oblige. “I love you, Fox William Mulder,” I spoke near his ear, soft but clear. “I love you so much I can’t even express it, I love you more than I’ve ever imagined I could feel in my life.”

He shuddered, and I felt gooseflesh ripple over his arms and back where my hands were stroking. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that, Scully, never,” he sighed, lifting his head to kiss me gently with soft lips. Then he moved off of me, collapsing on his back by my side with a muffled groan. “I suspect that I may be done for the day, I’m afraid,” he said with clear disappointment, glancing down at his flaccid penis, which was rapidly shrinking to smaller than I’d seen it so far. Well, it certainly deserved a rest, I though with amused fondness, after all the pleasure it’d given me today.

“That’s okay, I’m a bit sore, wonderfully so but still sore,” I said, rolling onto my back and stretching with my arms over my head, toes pointing at the foot of the bed. I noted that his eyes followed my movements avidly. “But no worry—a soak in Epsom salts will put me right,” I assured him, catching sight of the worried look on his handsome face as he glanced up at mine. “You didn’t hurt me, don’t even think that. It’s just been so long for me that my body needs a little time to adjust.”

He turned to face me, resting one warm hand on my bare hip. “What do you say we shower and go find some dinner, then cuddle up together for the rest of the night even if we can’t manage anything else?”

“Sounds like my idea of heaven,” I said, also turning on my side to face him, running one hand through his damp, soft hair. I gazed back into his sleepy yet adoring eyes, feeling my heart overflow with the emotion that I’d held back so long, and cupped one hand around his lean jaw. “God, Mulder, what if I hadn’t trusted my instincts and didn’t go into your room this morning?”

He smiled at me, that breathtaking full-out grin that gave me a jolt from my heart to my groin, and then moved his hand from my hip to cover mine with it, rubbing his slightly scratchy face against my palm. “Doesn’t matter, Scully, if not today it would have happened between us another time. But I’m glad it was sooner rather than later; God only knows how long we might have waited.”

“Me too,” I said, and then added, “you know, Mulder, I never thought this would happen for me. It never has before, and I thought I never would.”

He got up on one elbow beside me, moving his hand back to my bare hip, a bemused look on his face. “What is that?”

“Falling in love.” I smiled back at him. “I guess I was just waiting for you.”

finis


End file.
